Working in taxes, you learn from January 15th to April 15th people cannot be held liable for their grumpiness at your firm.
We’re all running on very little sleep, sitting at our desks for 8+ hours a day, feeling like we’re drowning and the life raft had a hole in it.
That being said, this busy season was just different.
It wasn’t just grumpiness.
It honestly wasn’t that stressful work wise.
No.
It was stressful in a different kind of way.
It robbed my peace.
It opened my eyes, in a bad way.
Like an unhealthy relationship, I am holding on to what this job used to be as I know it’s still there and capable of being great again but it hasn’t gotten better yet.
That’s my fault too.
My employers know something is not right.
I brought it up before on a day that I took an impromptu day off, finishing my mandatory tasks then throwing my out of office up.
I have scheduled a couple meetings now with one of my bosses, only to decide to table the discussion for a later date; canceling the meeting.
So they are aware something big is coming, but I don’t think they are fully aware of the pain I’m in.
It’s hard to be when the last 3 months have been consumed with tax returns and client needs.
The thing is, I’ve put myself last for way too long.
I’ve traded my sanity and well being in order to please others.
I’ve bit my tongue and let myself be walked all over.
Not at my job, but just in life in general.
This busy season has triggered a confidence in me that I didn’t know was in there.
Despite the heartbreaking and hurtful season I’ve had, I discovered something really important:
My worth.
No matter what anyone says, how busy season ends, I know without a shadow of a doubt, I’m going to be ok.
I know I’m valuable in the workplace.
My employers pushed me to be self sufficient; providing very little direction on assigned side tasks, forcing me to do the research and be successful on my own.
They built this confidence I never knew I was missing.
I’m grateful for that.
By them guiding me that way, I have become independent, solving work issues on my own with confidence that I will do it correctly if I put in the work and do the research (if need be).
I love my employers.
That’s why I personalized their distaste for me so much.
That’s why it cut so deep.
My fault, I’m aware.
Just know, no matter how this day ends, I can hold my head high.
I can adjust my crown and do big fucking things.
I am the queen, after all!
To be continued…
❤️The Aut Mama❤️
If you see this before end of day, I’m asking if you could say a prayer or send positive thoughts my way.
I have no idea how today will play out, but I always think the absolute worst.
I could use some reassurance that feelings are not facts. They are always valid, but they aren’t always factual.
Thank you!
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