I really didn't think I'd be able to pull off a post immediately after the last one and the few days we've had.
However,
I made a promise to myself that if I didn't do anything at all on here all week, I would never ever miss an "I Get To Sunday!"
This one, considering the previous post's content, I was not very equipped to deduce my I get to moment but then it hit me like a soccer ball to a net, THAT IS MY I GET TO MOMENT
Yup.
You heard it here first people.
The most difficult part of my week has become my greatest highlight and moment of gratitude in a split instant!
That being said, I'm still exhausted, frustrated, and chomping at the bit to see if they'll refund us a decent amount.
I want you to know that just because you come to peace and terms with a negative experience or moment, does not mean your entire view or feelings about the situation change whatsoever, but you are better equipped to process and work through the upsetting happenings in that time period.
I'm going to divulge some family secrets here, but only my own. My husband's part has to be shared by him, isn't that the beauty of having your own story and past life experiences?!
So here goes nothing and the absolute potential of losing some of my following, so be it.
Sometimes the truth is not pretty.
Sometimes the truth just is.
I'm an addict in recovery.
Not so long ago, very much B.C. (aka Before Children), I was not the woman I am proud to say I am today.
I lived in various different locations, some of them unhoused and with the worst of the worst people when they are loaded. Emphasis on that last phrase there.
I was raised in a solid Christian home and my parents always gave my brother and I the world. There wasn't any obvious signs of trauma and I have nothing but pleasant memories (for the most part).
I am the first addict in my immediate family.
Meaning, my parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins whom I grew up with do not have any substance abuse struggles. They are all upstanding and remarkable humans who handled life on life's terms with self medicating.
That's a beautiful thing.
I, myself, am not like that.
I crumble at the slightest inconvenience.
My self declared parking spot is occupied by another vehicle?!
-I'm losing my shit.
They changed the main character in my favorite series?!
-I'm in an uproar😂
You can see where I'm going with this, right?!
I missed out on a lot of my life because of drugs and alcohol.
A lot of family events.
A lot of dinners.
A lot of me. Period.
I lived on the streets for a minute, disappearing for days on end with no cellphone and definitely no desire to come back to my family home.
I "ran the streets" you could say and I didn't mind it one stinking bit. Because out on the streets, in the dark of the night, I thought I could be free from anyone and anything.
Nothing could stop me from getting my next fix except me.
Fast forward to 2017, I'm pregnant, newly married, and my husband has conveniently decided to "go on vacation" without me
He eventually comes home. He always did. But it didn't hurt any less knowing he would.
We get our first apartment together, 2 bed/2 bath. It's an ok apartment, dated, but definitely better than being loaded on the streets in the pouring rain.
Fast forward again to 2022, I'm pregnant for the third time and we need much more space for a soon to be family of 5.
The place where we happen to still currently live has been my dream apartment community since it was built, truth be told.
And on 4/20, that dream was met.
We opted for the larger of the 2x2s and it was perfect!
Such an enormous upgrade from the last place and I was determined to treat it better, and I did.
But just a smidge 😉
Fast forward present day (I promise this is the last one)
Our lease here is almost up and we have come to terms that we need a bigger space and we needed to act fast.
If you're familiar with north San Diego county where reside, you're well aware of the rental rates these days and they will make you rethink your profession and maybe sell an organ or two on the black market to keep a roof over your head.
It's sad, but it's true.
Take it from me, I'm currently living without an appendix, tonsils, adenoids, and part of my brain (that's a story for another time).
I have been on the "Notify Me" list for a 3 bedroom for our current community since we moved in and there are never any notifications haha.
Until roughly one month ago.
My ass was in the leasing office when they opened at 9 am and I secured that apartment that very moment!
My goal was to stay here but move to a 3x2.
And that goal was met
If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction and mental health, you are not alone.
In fact, addiction is so prevalent that you likely interact with at minimum two people a day who have done some sort of substance to get through the day.
I went from tragic and miserable, living on Skid Row to manifesting my God damn dream rental in a matter of years.
So yeah, the moving part SUCKED. There's no doubt about it.
But, just like pregnancy, you end with a beautiful result when it's all over.
Like I tell my oldest daughter who struggles the most with self doubt (she gets it from her dad obvi)
"You're an Atwood. You can do hard things!"
Pull up your bootstraps soldier and prepare for that war.
You are not done yet.
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