If you know me, I am not a people person despite my job literally being about building relationships with others.
I guess I put on a good show.
So the idea of planning and executing a large gathering makes my skin crawl.
Our eldest turned 6 this year and I decided starting at age 5, we would have big parties outside of just family.
That must have been manic Ashleigh talking because I was not prepared for what that actually entailed.
Normally, my mom (who happens to be an amazing party planner and is super outgoing) plans the whole thing and I get to just show up and pretend I’m happy to be there.
Thank you mom!
This year though, I wanted to do it on my own.
I booked a venue, I built balloon stands, I bought all the supplies and party favors, I was ready to go.
Yesterday was the pool party and it started off with drama (my fave).
That was semi resolved but it still left a bad taste in my mouth considering how much we paid for that venue.
I’m not the person to cause drama with as I know I’m completely unhinged and do not care who you think you are.
Once I shoved my glaring eyes back in my head, the party was fine.
The pool was overrun with other residents of our community so I didn’t get a chance to really talk to anyone or be a good host (my words).
Everyone seemed to have fun.
Especially the birthday girl, so that’s what mattered most.
It broke my heart that my middle child, the one with autism, came up to me and said “mama, I want to go home. I’m tired.”
I wanted to leave too in all honesty, but I had to clean the venue.
So my mama heart broke that I couldn’t honor her desires.
It was HUGE that she vocalized them.
I couldn’t have been more proud and heartbroken all at the same time.
My eldest was happy and so grateful we did that for her.
She deserved it more than any kid I know.
Everyday I’m blown away that this my life.
Planning birthday parties for kids I thought I’d never have.
Crazy.
So, for my children’s happiness, I will work towards that Oscar, step outside of myself, and give them a birthday party they will remember.
My autistic daughter and I were so quiet today.
Recovery is so important for her and I.
I loved doing nothing today, just sitting in bed watching movies with my girls while the baby napped.
The party was great, but today is what I’ll remember most.
This week, I encourage you to spend some downtime with your kids.
Sometimes they need that quiet time too.
❤️The Aut Mama❤️
The only picture I got yesterday was of G before we sang her happy birthday. I lost my phone a few times and I was not out at the pool with the others so I missed all the good stuff haha
Next year, I suppose 😉
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