I Get To Be A Temporary Stay At Home Mom

Motherhood is hard.

Period.

It’s even harder when you have a child on the spectrum or a child with any sort of disability.

I don’t always like being a mom.

“But you chose to have children, you didn’t have to have them”

You’re right!

I didn’t.

I chose to have children and sometimes I find myself questioning why I even made that choice.

Truth be told, I didn’t want kids.

I’m not touchy feely, I’m very logically minded (hello autism), and patience has never ever been my strong suit.

I’m also extremely selfish and require under stimulation more often than not.

Kids crave and need all of that.

Being as my new job doesn’t start for another couple weeks, I’m the stay at home mom and I am struggling!

I’m a firm believer that not everyone is made for the stay at home position and I’m one of them.

I love my children but dang do I need a break from them more often than I’ve been getting.

That being said, I melted down the other day over our house and feeling like I’m the only one trying to get anything cleaned up around here.

My expectations are low, honestly.

But I was on my 3rd load of laundry and I was just not having it anymore so I broke down crying.

That’s when my sweet Genevieve (the oldest) grabbed a hanger and started hanging the wet clothes with me.

My heart melted.

You can’t teach what that girl has.

She has a gentle soul, a helper’s heart, and she met me where I was at without even asking.

So we hung the clothes together while I profusely thanked her.

I just thought “you’re doing something right if this is how your daughter responds!”

So I’m pushed to my limit currently while I wait for my new job to start AND I’m grateful to be given this time with my kids.

Even though I’m not receiving any income presently, I will say that my husband and I are noticeably less stressed.

I think God gave me this time at home for the following reasons:

I will keep striving to be a better mom everyday.

My children are amazing individuals and being home gives me the opportunity to see that again.

One day at a time, I will become the mom my children need in that moment.

Thank you to my children who love me through my imperfections.

Thank you to my husband for stepping up at work and being the sole provider for a brief period.

I love you all.

❤️The Aut Mama❤️