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Writer's pictureAshleigh Atwood

Autism and Sleep

Or lack there of 😭

 

My neurotypical daughter, the oldest, was the absolute worst sleeper the first few years of her life.

Now that she’s older, she values sleep a lot more and I’m grateful for that.

My neurodivergent child, the middle, was the best sleeper the first couple years of her life. I had to wake her at times in the very beginning because she needed to feed.

It scared me, considering my first and only experience with kid sleep was my eldest, who literally didn’t sleep longer than 25 minutes if she wasn’t attached to me or my husband.

 

I used to call Kennedy “my unicorn” because she was a rare exception to typical newborn patterns and dang did I need that!

Fast forward to present day, (and honestly a year or two back), Kennedy struggles the most with sleep.

 

You’d think I’d have some empathy.

I have always been a terrible sleeper.

My poor mother.

Not only was I a crappy newborn sleeper, I was a crappy toddler, kid, teenager, and young adult sleeper.

I’m still a crummy sleeper (as I type this at 3:59 AM).

Back to what I was saying:

You’d think I’d have some empathy for Kennedy’s wake ups throughout the night.

Nope.

That’s when I have my not so proud mom moments the most.

 

I’m a crummy sleeper, but I also require a lot of sleep or I’m mentally not ok (queue the meltdowns and/or manic moments from not sleeping well).

After all, I’m autistic too.

My behaviors are severely impacted when I don’t get enough sleep.

Negatively.

Just wanted to clarify.

Kennedy is the same way.

Almost worse because she’s new to this world and she doesn’t know how to regulate her emotions yet.

So, neurodivergent or not, coping is not a trait of most kids.

If we’re being completely transparent, I can’t cope with anything either.

I’ve been in therapy since I was 6 years old (more on that another time) and medicated since I was 13 years old (that’s over 20 years if you’re keeping score) and I still can’t cope with a damn thing!

The hardest thing I have ever had to deal with on a daily basis is trying to teach my children how to cope when I also don’t know how to cope.

I have all the tools too, personally.

However I just cannot do it and it’s not entirely my fault (that goes back to what happened at 6 years old, more on that in another post, no ETA on when that will be).

So Kennedy wakes up.

A lot.

Every night.

I’m a beast.

When woken up.

Mom fails all around.

My husband just started working overnight tonight.

So he’s not home to save me (or Kennedy) from the raging monster unleashed when I’m woken from sleep.

Do you have any experience with your child waking throughout the night?

I’m not talking about kids 2 and under, just to clarify.

I can cope when my son wakes up once in the middle of the night (most nights) because it’s expected.

He’s under 2, it’s normal.

If you have a child who wakes up nightly and wakes everyone else up in the process, how do you manage it?

Bonus points if they are autistic.

Please help.

I hate being a meanie butt to my kids.

I apologize often in the mornings but I really want to get a handle on this!

Send help.

Send tricks.

Save me from myself.

Please.

I’m desperate.


❤️The Aut Mama❤️


Background:

We have a solid bedtime routine.

I’m very strict on the timing of bedtime and my autism prevents me from deterring away from that.

I’m in constant communication over this with her pediatrician, sadly medicating her before bed (like an actual prescription, not melatonin), but it’s not working and I’m not ok.

Her behaviors are trying on the days following her lack of sleep. Rightfully so.

Knowing the above, please give me your tips on helping her get the much needed rest she needs.

Thank you!


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